Debt made me fear answering the door but help  was not far away

KEEPING on top of your finances, particularly in a cost-of-living crisis, is a struggle for many. For some, it is almost impossible. EMMA DODD spoke to two women from Henley who found themselves in trouble but, with the help of the Henley Debt Centre, they are now debt free. They are telling their stories in a bid to help others. Their names have been changed to protect their identity.

BEING told you are now debt-free was the “best phone call I have ever had” recalls Andrea, having struggled to keep up with her household bills.

This came six months on from finding herself almost £10,000 in the red and without having anyone with whom she felt she could confide her troubles.

Andrea, who is in her sixties, said: “It started in Christmas 2023 when my son lost his job and I couldn’t keep up with the payments on my utility bills — electricity and gas – as well as rent and council tax.

“There just wasn’t enough money coming in to cover them. My son lost his wages and started claiming but that just wasn’t enough. I was getting behind with all my bills. I was trying to pay them but I just wasn’t getting anywhere.

“This caused a lot of anxiety and stress for me. It became very, very stressful. I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I’d let myself get into this mess.”

After struggling in silence for months Andrea came to realise that she could not solve her problems on her own.

She said: “It took a long time because I was pushing my problems and my debt under the carpet, as they say. When the demand letters come it’s just awful. You just want to shut yourself away because you just don’t want to open them because you don’t know what to do.

“But, in the end, I would open them and I would phone up and speak to people to try and sort things out but I just didn’t seem to get anywhere even though I was trying my best.

“Even the repayments were too much for me but they just wouldn’t back down. I just felt at such a loss that I just didn’t know where to turn.”

Andrea’s mental health began to suffer and she dreaded opening the door, fearing that bailiffs would be sent round or she would be taken to court. “It was very stressful,” she recalled. “I became depressed. I was on anti-depressants and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. I didn’t want to share my problems and I just tried to deal with it myself and it was very isolating.

“I tried to stay strong and if it wasn’t for the debt centre I don’t know where I’d be because I couldn’t open up to anybody and I was just going downhill.”

Andrea first came across the centre while doing a life skills course which focused on budgeting and working out ways of saving money.

She said: “It was about cooking, shopping differently, changing products to own brands instead of name brands and changing your electricity providers to get a better deal.

“It was there that Debbie Bruwer, the centre manager, mentioned she was doing a debt course and if anyone needed any help they could come along and then I thought that I had to do something.”

After registering her interest in debt support, which the centre runs alongside Christians Against Poverty, Mrs Bruwer visited Andrea at home.

Andrea recalled: “It was such a relief to meet with Debbie. I felt safe, I knew I could trust her and confide in her everything that I was going through.

“We went through my incomings, my outgoings, all my bills and it just felt so good to be able to share it with somebody.

“Debbie was making phone calls to different people that I was in debt with and sorted everything out for me. It just felt as if a load had just been lifted. It was amazing, absolutely amazing.”

After going through Andrea’s bills, Debbie made calls to the Christians Against Poverty head office where the charity’s financial advisors worked to put together a plan.

Andrea said: “At first, I felt embarrassed talking to Debbie. I remember that she gave me a hug and said ‘We can do this’. It felt good to share my problems.”

The charity arranged for Andrea to receive a debt relief order, a legal insolvency solution available to people who are unable to pay their debts. It is designed for individuals with low income and minimal assets offering them a way to write off debts they cannot realistically repay. The order is seen as a simpler, cheaper alternative to bankruptcy.

Andrea said: “There were no more demands, no more phone calls and it gave me that space, which helped build my confidence and made me feel stronger in myself. I have also learned to deal with things differently, how to budget and to cut back on things if I need to.

“Receiving that call to say I was debt-free was absolutely the best phone call I’ve ever had. I just couldn’t believe it. It took my breath away and I felt free.”

Andrea is urging others in a similar situation to seek help from the centre. She said: “I would say to anybody, please just do it. Just do it. Contact the centre — you can trust them, they won’t judge you, they will be there for you. It’s worth it.

“It feels absolutely amazing to be debt-free and to be a stronger, more confident person and to not have to worry about working out all my bills and everything. Now I am coping.”

Charlotte, who is in her fifties, admits she has never been very good with money but found herself in financial difficulty after supporting a friend who came to stay with her.

She said: “My children had grown up and left home but suddenly I had an extra mouth to feed. It just spiralled out of control and I had one disaster after another.

“Because I was working, I got a credit card out and thought I could manage the repayments but I couldn’t. I thought I needed it so I applied and I got it so easily. Then before I knew it, I was in quite a bit of debt, which I was ignoring.”

Charlotte had used credit cards before but was finding herself using it more frequently to pay for additional food, clothes and household items to support the extra person living with her. Soon she was £9,000 in debt.

She said: “I was ignoring the demand letters thinking I could deal with it and each month I was getting further and further into debt. I was burying my head in the sand and ended up having suicidal thoughts.”

Charlotte reached out to the debt centre and Mrs Bruwer visited her home to review her finances. She said: “I was quite surprised by how much debt I was in. I didn’t really know until Debbie came round. We opened the letters together and she methodically went through them. It was really overwhelming and scary to see how you can get into that much debt and not realise it.”

She also discovered that the debt pile also included unpaid bills from years ago, including a parking fine that she had misplaced and forgotten about.

One of the options Charlotte was given by the charity’s financial advisors was a debt management plan, which involves creating a monthly budget and an amount is paid to each creditor. The individual agrees to pay a monthly sum, which is then distributed by the charity.

But she chose to take a debt relief order to clear the debt. This meant she is now unlikely to be able to take out a credit card or overdraft for the next six years during which the order remains on her credit reference file.

Charlotte said: “They made it so easy. The centre applied to the court for the debt relief order and it came through after a couple of months. What happens then is if anybody to whom you owe money gets in contact, you just give them the number of your debt relief order.

“I was worried as I realised as I was going to lose my overdraft on my bank account but in the end, it was a small price to pay.”

Charlotte was worried about the process at first but felt supported by Mrs Bruwer. She said: “Debbie was so professional and so kind-hearted. I’m quite a proud person and if she had been any different, I would have probably closed the door.

“When you get into debt like that, you do feel a burden of shame upon you and when you feel shameful it affects all of your daily life. It was painful because obviously, these things often are, but Debbie made it as painless as possible.

“When I got that debt relief order it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt so much lighter. It’s just so consuming when you’re in debt and it affects everything. When you wake up in the morning you have that anxiety and when you go to bed at night it’s hard to sleep because the thought going through your head is ‘How am I going to do this?’”

After her experience with the debt centre, Charlotte said she is beginning the process of becoming a “befriender” to help others going through the same situation.

This would mean she would sit and accompany a member from the debt centre while they support a person who has reached out for help and act as a friendly face. Charlotte reflected that debt is something that can affect anyone, no matter their background.

She said: “You can have the biggest house but if you’ve got a mortgage that you can’t afford, it’s the same thing.

“Sometimes circumstances that are beyond your control happen and that can be the one thing that starts it off. You can take your eye off the ball for a little bit and it can come falling down. The important thing is to seek help before problems escalate.”